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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047561">the day will come back around</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblyying/pseuds/bubblyying'>bubblyying</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Kang Taehyun Needs A Hug, Kang Taehyun-Centric, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Soft Kang Taehyun, mild derealization, they complete each other sobsob</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:29:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblyying/pseuds/bubblyying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In between the various trials and tribulations in life, Yeonjun and Taehyun find solace in the comfort of their favourite people in the world (each other).</p><p>or</p><p>Yeonjun and Taehyun are each other’s emotional driving forces.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the day will come back around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>P.s. DISCLAIMER just in case, this is not meant to provide a general overview of how derealization/panic attacks feel to people, but this is solely based on my own personal experiences with them.<br/>In fact, most of the experiences mentioned in this fic are based on my own personal experiences, so.... yeah.</p><p>i wanna add that it's sorta another vent fic so.... whatever that needs to be tagged are alr tagged, if you need me to tag more please request nicely, thank you!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Taehyun wakes up with a jolt, his heart beating too fast and his breaths coming in soft gasps. He feels tears brimming at the corners of his eyes, but he steadfastly blinks them away, trying to regain control of his senses.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t remember what his nightmare was about, but he deduces enough that it's the type that chills him from head to toe, the type that causes his breathing to become erratic and terrifying. The adrenaline coursing through his veins from the nightmare was more than enough to keep him awake and alert. He sniffles softly, lifting his legs and settling his feet onto the ground as he sits up. His mind continues to race, a buzz of lingering confusion and fear and dizziness from waking up so suddenly filling his head. Taehyun feels a need to escape the bedroom, which suddenly feels stuffy and too-small despite the windows being slightly open and the ceiling fan circulating air around the room. So he pulls himself up, taking care to keep his footsteps quiet so as to not awake Hueningkai who was still sleeping soundly on the top bunk, and exits the bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>As he closes the bedroom door behind him, he feels himself choke up all of a sudden, and somewhere in his mind, he thinks of getting some water from the kitchen to relieve the tightness in his throat. Mustering up enough energy to walk despite how badly he was still trembling, he makes his way to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>And as all of the lingering emotions finally bubble to the surface, Taehyun feels himself break, not knowing whether anyone would catch him when he falls. He barely manages to set the glass of water safely onto the counter before his knees give out below him, causing him to sink to the ground as the first sob wracks through his entire body.</p><p> </p><p>He is so <em>so</em> tired, he realizes, of trying to keep himself together.</p><p> </p><p>He curls into himself, burying his face into his hands to try to muffle the sobs and cries that had started to escape him. He hates this feeling of uncertainty and terror - the way it twists itself around Taehyun’s heart and squeezes, continues squeezing until Taehyun has to gasp for air in between his sobs, and he wonders if he’s going to die. All alone, in the kitchen of his dorm, a glass of water sitting uselessly on the countertop and the deafening silence of the late night surrounding him. He wants to open his mouth to call for his members, but nothing else comes out apart from wheezes and gasps. He already feels as if he’s being disconnected from his own body, as if everything around him has frozen, the still air causing a sense of disorienting thoughts to float through him. What a way to go.</p><p> </p><p>His hands are shaking and his head is spinning and he is almost ready to accept his early death if it would just end his suffering already.</p><p> </p><p>He barely registers the warm arms surrounding him, the hand rubbing soothing circles into his back and the urgent, fearful yet comfortingly familiar voice in his ear. </p><p> </p><p>“Taehyunnie, my baby, can you hear me? Hyung is here, I need you to breathe with me, alright? Come on...” </p><p> </p><p>It’s Yeonjun. Of course it’s his Yeonjun-hyung.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun’s hand is placed onto Yeonjun’s chest, and he tries his hardest to match its steady heartbeat along with Yeonjun’s slow and steady counting of beats. He grips tightly onto his boyfriend’s shirt as his hands find purchase into it, curling into fists into the fabric.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Breathe in, 1 2 3 4 5, Breathe out, 1 2 3 4 5. Breathe in, 1 2 3 4 5, Breathe out, 1 2 3 4 5. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun struggles to return to reality, and it seems like hours and hours until his head clears a little bit and he manages to follow Yeonjun’s counting. The fog surrounding him seems to dissipate. </p><p> </p><p>He lets out a soft whimper of relief as the tightness in his chest unravels, nuzzling into Yeonjun’s neck. He feels a soft kiss being placed onto the crown of his head. </p><p> </p><p>“My darling.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun’s voice changes into a more soothing and reassuring tone as he lifts Taehyun’s face softly to pepper quick kisses all over it. He continues until Taehyun’s soft giggles from the ticklish sensations on his face echo through the air instead of the heart wrenching sobs from before.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun’s arms raise themselves to settle around Yeonjun’s neck, and he stares into Yeonjun’s round and beautiful eyes, bright with unshed tears of worry yet still full of love and affection like they always have been since the day they confessed their love for each other.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re here,” he whispers in awe, cupping Yeonjun’s cheek with one hand and watches fondly as Yeonjun leans into the touch. “You’re… You’re real.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I am, my darling.”</p><p> </p><p>“For some reason I thought I was being too quiet.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun shakes his head, smiling fondly.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s my Taehyun senses tingling, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun unconsciously lets out a snort as he turns his head away from Yeonjun, trying his best not to roll his eyes at the cheesiness of it all.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your weirdo,” Yeonjun teases. They giggle, and Taehyun feels more grounded to reality now that he’s in Yeonjun’s arms and that Yeonjun always knows how to make him feel better. Taehyun’s panic attacks are rare and far in-between, but the stresses of their job cause them to materialize sometimes, and Yeonjun is no stranger to them. But at least he always comes through whenever Taehyun needs him. </p><p> </p><p>They relapse into silence, holding each other close as the sounds of the night surround them. A random motorcycle on the street making its way past their apartment, the whirring of the fan in the living room that Taehyun must have unconsciously flipped the switch on on his journey to the kitchen, the soft tick-tick-tick of the mechanical clock hanging on the side of the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>“Hyungie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Taehyunnie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes I hate that I have to keep living this way. Is there something wrong with me?”</p><p> </p><p>He hears Yeonjun’s tired sigh, his breath tickling the back of Taehyun’s neck. </p><p> </p><p>“Tyun-ah, you’ve done nothing wrong, alright? I promise you. I may not have all the answers, but I’ll help you set up an appointment with your therapist again, and I’ll go with you if you wish. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>He pulls back a little only to cup Taehyun’s face in his hands, staring into his eyes as if he’s holding the most precious jewel in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here. I’m real. And I love you.” Yeonjun repeats softly, and Taehyun almost tears up. Rendered speechless, he surges forward to plant a soft kiss onto Yeonjun’s pink lips, hoping that would explain all the things he cannot express into words.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun breaks apart when he feels himself start to yawn loudly, and he feels Yeonjun’s chuckle deep in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be by your side when you wake up.”</p><p> </p><p>And he does, warm and safe in the loving arms of his boyfriend.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Yeonjun hasn’t acted quite like himself lately.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun had always looked up to Yeonjun since the first day they met. He admires how hard Yeonjun works every day since they were trainees and after they had successfully debuted, striving for self-improvement even though he’s already the best dancer Taehyun has ever known. It’s that tenacity and drive that Taehyun falls in love with over and over again, the sheer humility despite his abilities. </p><p> </p><p>So he knows how Yeonjun pushes himself all the time, of course. But Yeonjun had been more…. for a lack of a better word, determined as of late. He works hard during their dance lessons, but he also works hard when he stays back in the studio after said lessons, working himself to the bone to master the new dance moves. The other members, including Taehyun, had joined him for sessions here and there, but no one has stayed as late as Yeonjun has been staying.</p><p> </p><p>He’s also more persistent during their joint workout sessions, pushing himself to do more reps, run for a longer period of time, even when Taehyun cautions tiredly for him to take a break and drink some water before continuing.</p><p> </p><p>It is probably the 7th day of him picking at his food, leaving half his plate unfinished before he leaves the dining table on the guise of “being too full” and not cooking late-night ramen that was the absolute last straw for Taehyun. He’s mad at himself for letting the situation drag on for even longer, but he had tried to respect Yeonjun’s treasured privacy until now.</p><p> </p><p>That night, Taehyun waits until the whole house is quiet, with most of his members sleeping, before he sneaks out of bed again and knocks softly onto the door of Yeonjun’s room. A secret rhythm, that the duo had decided long ago to be the secret code between the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun opens the door for him. He’s dressed in his sleepwear already, yet he looks wide awake and rather antsy. His face softens considerably, however, once his eyes meet Taehyun’s.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Yeonjun flashes him a lopsided smile, pulling Taehyun in delicately as he closes the door behind them. He leans in to kiss Taehyun’s temple. “What brings you here?”</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk. Specifically, about you, and how you’ve been feeling lately.”</p><p> </p><p>Straightforward and sometimes blunt, that was one of the countless things Yeonjun loved about Taehyun’s personality, yet as Taehyun looked up firmly at him, he couldn’t help but let out a small gulp of nervousness.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I’m feeling alright, Tyun, I swear…” He stammers out meekly, trying to drag it on as long as possible, even as he knows that it would be fruitless, considering the younger boy’s fierce determination. </p><p> </p><p>Said younger boy starts to pull him by the wrist towards his bed, and Yeonjun follows blindly, both of them making themselves comfortable on the bed with both of them sitting against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder. After they had settled onto the bed, Yeonjun shoots him an uneasy smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. And that’s when Taehyun starts to fully take into account the air of weariness surrounding Yeonjun. The way his facial features seem to sag slightly, the dark eye bags under his sleepy eyes and the way he buries his head into the soft hoodie he was wearing gives away the visible exhaustion. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun levels him with another gaze, but this time his huge round eyes sparkled softer and more tenderly. “Hyungie…” he starts, “you haven’t been sleeping, have you?”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun shifts a little under Taehyun’s curious gaze before he finally sighs, admitting, “I didn’t sleep at all.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun narrows his eyes. “And you tell me that you’re alright-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s because I <em>am</em>,” Yeonjun repeats again, this time with a more insistent and pressing tone. It was convincing enough to fool a stranger, but Taehyun hadn’t spent 4 whole years by Yeonjun’s side to not notice the times Yeonjun still tries to mask the truth so that Taehyun would stop worrying about him. It has never worked on him, of course.</p><p> </p><p>Truth be told, Taehyun notices with a jolt how Yeonjun has always tried to be the stronger one in the group, as if it’s his responsibility as the oldest brother to pull the team together and guide them through the toughest times. They’ve truly been through too much as a group since their debut, and while the good moments outweigh the bad, sometimes the bad moments can just….. slice through. They all take turns to be the strong ones, of course, but Yeonjun is always there more often than not, because he thinks that <em>he</em> has to be the pillar to lean on. Only him. For his four younger brothers, <em>he</em> has to be the one.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But why does it have to just be him?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, Taehyunnie,” Yeonjun repeats one more time, though at this point Taehyun’s unsure of whether he’s trying to convince Taehyun or himself, as he observes how his voice falters at the word ‘fine’.</p><p> </p><p>He stays silent, watching as Yeonjun squirms under his stubborn and resolute gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“I just…” Yeonjun finally sighs in defeat, “I don’t like the way I look. I need to lose weight before the comeback and I don’t want to burden the team…”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Who</em> says so?” Taehyun insists, “I know for a fact that our managers and dance instructors have never told us that we had to lose weight, so who-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s-” Yeonjun’s breath hitches slightly, before he continues, “it’s me, okay? My thighs are too huge, MOAs have said before that I look like I’ve gained weight, and I need to be perfect-” </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun shakes his head firmly, and the determined look on his face causes Yeonjun to stop in surprise, a few tears already leaking from his eyes. He reaches forward to grip onto Yeonjun’s hands tightly with one hand, his other hand reaching upwards to swipe away at Yeonjun’s tears with his thumb. He feels Yeonjun tilting his head to lean into the touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyungie, my love, who cares about what other strangers think? What matters is what the people around you think, isn’t it? And I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I love you the way you are. You could grow another leg or eye or sprout wings from your back and I’d still love the fuck out of you, okay? Everything you do, everything you say, against all odds, you’ll still perfect to me.”</p><p> </p><p>And so he curls his arms around Yeonjun’s shoulders, pulling him in so that Yeonjun’s head was resting on his chest. He nuzzles into Yeonjun’s hair and holds him close.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay to admit when you’re not feeling your best, my dear hyungie. You don’t have to be strong in front of me, you know. Let me help you.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun jolts slightly as Yeonjun reciprocates the hug again, hands shaking as they rest on Taehyun’s waist. “But I want to-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s hurting you to do so,” Taehyun pleads, “do you really think I won’t notice it as your boyfriend? You have to talk to me too, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun nods miserably, clutching tightly onto Taehyun’s hip.</p><p> </p><p>“‘M sorry for hiding things from you. I really don’t want you to worry about me. I wanna take care of you first, not have you get worried about my own insecurities as well.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun shakes his head vehemently. “Hyungie, stop that. You’ll never be a burden to me, ever. You’re more than that - you’re the reason I’m striving forward on this journey, you’re the comforting presence I go to after a long and difficult day, you’re the one who picks me up and everyone around you when things get hard. You’re all that and so much more to the people you meet. You’re my inspiration, hyungie, you’re beautiful, kind and so <em>so</em> passionate. Please never think any less of yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>He wipes the remaining tears falling from Yeonjun’s eyes with his thumbs again, kissing softly on the apples of Yeonjun’s cheeks before kissing him properly on the lips. He feels Yeonjun’s mild desperation as he returns the kiss, their mouths moving each other, breathing in the soft noise that escapes Taehyun’s lips. </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun pulls apart, chuckling a little as Yeonjun chases his lips blindly, before he gives up and intertwines their fingers together in a comforting grip.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you no matter what,” Taehyun says again firmly, “and nothing can ever change that, my love.”</p><p> </p><p>(Taehyun is the first out of the two of them to wake up the next morning. The sounds of Soobin and Beomgyu bickering in the kitchen echo from outside the bedroom as the smell of pancakes (arguably the only thing that Soobin can cook besides kimbap) waft through the air. Kai’s distinct giggles resonate through the air, loud and boisterous and familiar. Warmth seeps through Taehyun’s entire body, full of pure unadulterated love and affection for his family outside that door and for the boy whose chest he is currently lying onto. He watches as Yeonjun’s chest rises and falls evenly, the older boy sleeping soundly despite the commotion outside. He wraps his arms back around Yeonjun's middle and cuddles impossibly closer, smiling softly to himself.</p><p> </p><p>They’ll be alright from now on. Taehyun will make sure of that.)</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The fansign arrives, and they receive a question about what each member was grateful for about the member on their right. And Taehyun gets Yeonjun, much to the members’ amusement. Taehyun even tries to pretend, for the sake of their MOA’s entertainment, that he’s unable to think of anything that he’s grateful to Yeonjun for. Yeonjun teases him a little, but eventually calms down, allowing Taehyun to continue his speech.</p><p> </p><p>“My driving force behind this album,” he announces fondly, sure and true, to all the 50 MOAs present and also his knowing members, “was hyung.” <em>And it had been so for the past few albums, and also during our trainee periods, and possibly in the future.</em></p><p> </p><p>Later at night, when the whole group finally reaches home and trudges off to their respective bedrooms, Yeonjun pulls Taehyun aside, drawing him into a sweet kiss. He whispers against Taehyun’s lips, secure and full of affection, “You know you’re my driving force too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi :D</p><p>i was thinking, recently, about the very first fic i posted on ao3... and i pretty much just thought it'll be nice to write another hurt/comfort fic. maybe i write too much hurt/comfort, but who's to say whether there's too much h/c fics, really?</p><p>anyway, taejun complete each other &lt;3</p><p>twt: <a href="https://twitter.com/kthtyun">@kthtyun</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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